One Month

As of last week, I am one month down and a lifetime to go. So yesterday I did my one month weigh in and measurements. Not fun but it's something that you must do to see progress. I can look at myself in a mirror all day long and not see a bit of change. So in the time frame of April 23, 2013-May 27, 2013 I am down 20 pounds and 8.25 inches! Whoop whoop! That is cause for celebration. But hold up! I also had to do pictures. Which means putting on dreadful clothes that show my body and take the same photo I took a month prior. I must just grin and bear it. Photos done and I'm horrified at what I see. I see no change... nothing! I compare the two side by side in my lovely PS program and type the dates to see the comparison. My husband gushes about the difference. I don't see it. I e-mail it my couch promising that I have lost the weight, you just can't see to see it. Her reply hits me hard. She can see it. Not only that but she can point to where she can see it and guess what?!?!? I see it too! I immediately send the picture to a friend of mine and tell her where to look to see it. Her response floors me as she tells me that she didn't need to look where to see it, she could tell right away. I analyze, look and of course criticize. I can see it, it's there. I can see the changes in my body for the first time, on the outside. Not only am I feeling great on the inside but I can see the changes that this is making to me. I'm encouraged, I'm excited, and I'm ready to do it all again!

I have learned through this process that I am full of self doubt. I don't believe that I can do it because I have tried and failed several times. But as I look back and wonder why it is that I have failed it's because I wasn't doing it for the right reasons. I wanted to just simply lose the weight. Not work for it, not change my lifestyle and not commit myself to anything that would require taking away everything that I have always known and starting over. I had to have that light bulb moment where I wanted to change myself and change everything I had ever known. I had to reach that point of no return and see what I was doing to myself in order to want to change it. And reach that point I did. Just as with everything else, you have to want it bad enough to succeed at it. You have to work at it to achieve it and this is what I want.

Eating clean is getting easier and easier by the day. It's now just kind of programmed into my mind to look at those labels and see what I am fueling my body with. I have people who ask me how I feel and honestly, I feel great. Clean eating has really helped me focus more on life than what my next meal will be. I have it all planned out for the week ahead and the food is actually stuff I enjoy. My body doesn't feel tired all of the time, I'm not as sluggish as I once was and I have the energy to get through the day without feeling like I have to take a nap.

As I said, one month down - a lifetime to go! This will not stop here. I am so happy that I can see the change and most importantly so happy that I can feel the change. This week my goal is to really start sharing great clean recipes that I have found, share some goals that I have committed myself to and share more about the struggles I have faced along the way.