Still Going Strong

I'm here, still going. Still hitting my workouts hard and living my life the healthiest way possible. I still slip and fall but I have taken this last month and a half to adjust this lifestyle for me. Eating 100% clean was never in the cards for me and I knew that. I'm a foodie and I love something new and good, yummy and gooey. I tried so hard in the beginning to really be something I never could be. Some people can say, I am going to spend the rest of my life being clean, being organic. I can't. So I had to learn to balance and find what works for me. When I did that, when I found it, it clicked with me. I live my life 75% clean, truly organically clean. The rest of the 25% I've learned to "control." I eat the yummy bad for you stuff but I do so in moderation which was never in my vocabulary. And yes, there are times when I know I can cheat, I hoard my calories and make it dirty, so dirty it's sinful. But I know how to bounce back and know that tomorrow morning I will have to add more to my workout. I will have to drink more water to get the toxins out of my body. Do I suggest this? No. But it works for me. I can't live my life 100% clean and I won't sit here and say that I do. Clean is good delicious food that makes you feel great and does amazing things for your body but for me I also need the bad stuff every once in a while. I feel like it's so hard to explain but if you've ever done a program like this, you probably totally get it.

My workouts have increased and I have grown to love them. I can not tell you how good I feel. My body is changing every day. I am not at my goal weight, far from it, but I am in the best shape I have probably ever been in. I never thought in a million years that I would love waking up every morning, grabbing my weights and doing 100+ squats, working my arms, shoulders, abs and so on. I'm amazed at the strength I have gained and how good I feel. I have so much energy and living life feels good. Really good.

I have so much I want to write. So many posts I've been thinking of and I hope I can get them down before Thanksgiving. We are leaving for a 2 week vacation which honestly has me scared because I want to keep up all the work I've been putting in. And if I don't write again before Thanksgiving and you happen to be reading this, don't eat your weight on Turkey day. Be thankful and spend your day loving your family and loved ones.

Clean Fall Favorites

Pardon my absence, first bronchitis and then a sinus infection that spread through our house like wildfire! I am still coughing and just finished a 2nd round of antibiotics... ugh! Eventually it will go away! The older I get, the worse it is when seasons change. But thankfully the season is FALL which is by far my favorite.

Besides being sick, me and little love spent the weekend hanging out with this lovely lady...

Taylor Swift was absolutely amazing. Anyone who says she is not good live, has never been to a concert of hers. She was amazing. Her voice was beautiful. She was absolutely inspiring and talked to the girls in that audience like she has known them for years. Her words to each person in that arena were so uplifting and she really put on a show! It has been years since I have been to a concert and she blew me away! Now I have the concert bug so we've already got tickets to some really great shows in November and December.

Anyway, after getting better I have got to get back on track! Yes I ate clean and still got my exercise in but by no means did I push myself like I have been because I honestly just didn't feel like it. But now it's time and I am full steam ahead!

With Fall comes busy schedules, football games, school, dance, soccer and so on. My Coach always says "Failure to plan is planning to fail" so I looked up so great crock pot recipes for those busy days. Remember, there are no excuses to living a healthy lifestyle! I know it's easier to go through that drive thru, order dinner out or just pick something up on the way home but think of how much better you will feel knowing you are feeding your body healthy foods and even more importantly you are feeding your family healthy as well!

Check out these recipes:

Buffalo Chicken Crockpot Sloppy Joes
Hawaiian Crockpot Pulled Chicken Sliders
Crockpot Sweet & Sour Chicken
Crockpot White Bean Chicken Chili
Crockpot Chicken Tacos

Those are really just the beginning. There are so many great recipes out there. Just remember, NO EXCUSES! If you search, you can find what you are looking for. If you don't take your recipe and "clean it up" Usually, that can be done with almost anything.

Happy Fall Y'all!

What are you doing today?

If you are sitting there thinking that today will be the last day, the last day that you feel miserable. The last day that you will eat whatever you want and feed yourself with junk. The last day you will find every excuse you can to not get up and make a better life for not only yourself but your family. If you are thinking that tomorrow is when your journey will begin... GET UP! Start your journey TODAY! Not only is it worth it, YOU are worth it. Your FAMILY is worth it. Get up, get moving. It's not going to be easy, you are going to want to quit every single day but getting there makes every bit of this journey worth it.

I am almost at my first goal. Where are you? Are you at day one? There is no better time than today. If I can do it, you can do it. I never thought I would love to exercise or that I would love how it makes my body feel but I do. I am here writing this drenched in sweat from my workout this morning, from pushing myself until I knew I pushed as far as I could. Don't make excuses because a year from now you will look back and say "I wish I had started then."

YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Pinterest Success!

Fall is in the air which means it's time to get your craft on. I blame Pinterest for the never ending crafts that I want to do. Soooo.... of course when school was getting ready to start I started searching great Teacher Gift's for the first day of school. Bad Idea! There are countless ideas out there but I finally settled on my favorite. Survival Kits!! What Teacher doesn't need these? Was I searching for brownie points? Of course! It never helps to butter up the Teachers that will have your child all year long. Also, they deserve so much for all that they do.

So I went here and did exactly what she did. Of course mine was a little different because you can't find the same exact things.

Here are mine:

 

I got the baskets at Target which were not a bad price at all. I let my kids pick out the goodies so they could have a hand in this as well ;) After all, it is from them. Haha! The Starbucks cups were actually a steal, I couldn't believe how inexpensive they were so I added a gift card inside the cup as well. So cute, right? I love how they turned out! (Excuse the horrible pictures, I forgot to take a picture before we loaded them into the back of my car to take them to school)

My newest obsession is burlap. I LOVE burlap. So of course I have wanted a burlap wreath for quite some time but I don't want to pay that hefty price tag for one. I mean really?!?! I was scared to even try one because I figured that it would be way too complicated and it would be the death of me. I started looking, started pinning and found a blog that swears it's so simple and easy to do! So I took off to Hobby Lobby determined to find what it is that I needed. Hobby Lobby = Burlap Heaven. So much burlap!! 

I started off with this blog but for some reason I found it confusing. I wasn't really sure how she was threading the burlap. So I searched again and found this blog and once I combined the thoughts on the two blogs I got it. I would switch back and forth and just incorporate what each lady was saying and find my own way. I was very pleased at how easy and fast it was to do. I decided to add things to my wreath and with that I just kind of had to wing it because I didn't really feel like searching anymore. However, I did search on how to do a bow and found this. (Sorry it's not a direct link but I couldn't get it to open for some reason) I have never seen an easier way of someone explaining how to do a bow. I again took her words but made it my own but again it was simple and easy. 

So here is how my burlap wreath turned out:

I love it! I am going to add our last name initial to it but I have to paint it and just haven't done that. And you may be wondering why the orange and blue? Well, I figured since College Football kicks off this weekend why not start our decorating now? Yes, I am one of those girls that enjoys College Football and actually understands it ;) 

So there you have it, my Pinterest Success stories... for now! I see a lot more in my near future and I think I am officially addicted to making burlap wreaths. I'm sure I'll have one for every occasion. :)

School Days

I'm sitting here this morning eating my apple and drinking my Shakeology when I realized, I have not blogged in a while. The end of Summer was spent making memories and that's exactly what we did. The kids and I had an awesome Summer and I am so thankful for every new adventure, every sunny day and every laugh and giggle. It was just a great Summer full of endless possibilities.

I was sad to see the school year come along, I didn't feel ready for Summer to end. But, I was also excited because it meant I would be back into the routine full swing and to be honest I am much better with my workouts when I am on a routine. First day of school meant hitting my workouts hard and it felt SO good! I have been on this journey since May. A lot of sweat and tears have poured into this journey, over 45 pounds shred and many inches (I don't know the exact number as I am not keeping track of this monthly). I feel happier than I have with myself in a very long time. I feel better than I have in a very long time. It's worth it. SO worth it.

At my heaviest, I felt so embarrassed to do things. I felt ashamed of how I looked, how I felt and how I thought people viewed me. I was very insecure even when I thought that I was comfortable in my own skin. It took me losing the weight and seeing the shape my body can take to look back and see how bad I truly felt inside and out. The first day of school would mean having to go to class with my kids and I would stare at my clothes wondering what would hide me the best. But not this year, this year I feel comfortable in my skin. My body is not perfect and it will never be because none of us are. I haven't met my goal, I am not skinny, but I am healthy and I feel confident and that's where I want to be.

I see people I know now who want that change. Who are where I was when I started this journey. I see the want that they have but I still see the choices that they are making that are horrible. And don't get me wrong I still have those horrible days. But this journey, this change, is like a drug. A drug I never knew I wanted or needed but it is. I can have my bad days but I am craving the change, craving how my body feels after I push it to it's breaking point and feeling the feeling of feeding my body exactly what it needs. I see people around me who are there, right there to their breaking point and I want this journey to be theirs as well. I want everyone to know how good this life can feel. It's amazing to be here when I thought there was no hope. It's a great feeling to know that I am no longer saying "I'll start tomorrow." TOMORROW STARTS TODAY!

If you are reading this, where are you? What are you feeding your body? How are you treating your body?

I have so much more I can add to this but I feel like my thoughts are everywhere. The craving for me is there and I want this for me but I want it for YOU even more. I know how it feels and it feels good!

Birthday Getaway

So we finished celebrating Little Love's Birthday by going to Atlanta for her Birthday weekend. She has been asking for another American Girl Doll so we decided this would be a great Birthday trip for her. We made plans to visit the American Girl Boutique and Bistro, The Lego Store and The Georgia Aquarium.

First things first, we went to the American Girl Boutique and Bistro. This is a MUST for any little girl who loves American Girl. Little Love received her first American Girl Doll after Grandpa visited New York a couple of years ago and they went to the store there. She loved the doll but it was never her favorite. She would play with her but most of the time that doll would sit in a toy box. When she started asking for another American Girl Doll I was hesitant but Little Love slowly started playing with the doll she already had more and more and the request for a new one became a daily thing. A friend of mine had told me that letting them pick out their own doll at the Boutique had a whole different meaning for a girl so instead of letting her pick one out of the catalog I figured this would be the best way to go.

The Boutique is amazing. It's really a little girl's dream come true. Every doll is there, every outfit. The Bitty Babies, the Historical Dolls, the ME dolls... it was amazing to see it all. They have a hair studio for the dolls to get all fixed up (expect long lines!) and they make every part of picking your special doll a big deal. Little Love set her eyes on a couple of dolls and wanted them but I made her look at every doll to make sure she was picking the right one and when her eyes met Julie, she was done! She picked out some outfits, matching pajamas for her and Julie, bathing suit and the special American Girl brush that every doll must have to tame that unruly hair! It was truly a magical experience and like I said, something every little girl who loves these dolls should do!

Julie and Little Love both received an American Girl Birthday button because after all, Julie was born into our lives that day and she truly has become a member of our family!

Little Love was so excited! 

Thankfully in the same shopping center this is a Lego store. We didn't know until we got to Atlanta that there was a Lego Discovery Center so we missed out on that this trip but have plans to return soon for that. Our Big Love (our son) needed Lego's (NOT!) so we headed over to stock up. If you've been to any Lego store you know how amazing it is to see all of the creations and how many Lego's you can find there. So Big Love got everything he needed (ahem... wanted) and we were on our way for more celebrating. 

After a yummy lunch and some Birthday sundaes we headed to the Georgia Aquarium. I have never in my life seen so many people. Even Disney World in the Summer didn't even compare and trust me we know Disney World in the Summer. After waiting in line for an hour just to get in, we were finally in the Aquarium. It's wonderful, it's fun and any kid would love this place. However, I feel like this one is one and done. Once you've seen it, your good and I wouldn't think that there would be a need to go back. Yes it's large but that also means it's crowded. Seeing things were hard because there are so many people in front of you. Lines are long and kids get restless. Our loves held up well and it was a nice day. This is something they have really wanted to do and see so it's 100% worth it. Just be prepared for crowds on a Saturday and very long lines.

I will say that the Shark Whale and Beluga Whales were amazing. I loved the sea otters, I have decided I want one of those ;) and Little Love was so excited to get to see the penguins up so close. 

After the Aquarium a Birthday dinner and cake (yes I had a piece as it's OK to cheat on days like this) were in order and then crashing at the hotel!

It was a great weekend and another Birthday is in the books. I did much better on this trip with eating and exercising. I had a plan (a more realistic plan) and stuck to it. Unfortunately, I got home and got sick. Bronchitis in the Summer is not fun! So, I'm a little off on my diet and month three weigh in has not been done. That will be done soon!

A Tea Party fit for a Princess

Our Little Love celebrated her 6th Birthday. Since she was a very little girl I have thought about a Tea Party but we always ended up doing something else as a different theme suited her more at the time. Well this year, she wanted a Tea Party and I was thrilled! Thanks to Pinterest, I knew the perfect type of Tea Party to have.... Vintage. The party was filled with feather boas, white gloves, pearls, vintage head pieces and hats for all the girls. The hubby and I stayed up late fluffing pom poms in the perfect shades of pink and teal. My friends and I went antiquing looking for the perfect tea cups and sets for the girls to use. It was perfection and my Little Love was thrilled! She had the best time and we are so thankful for all the love shown to her that day.

Here are a few pictures that perfectly describe that day:

 Let me add that the above picture contains my newest find at my favorite antique store. My new China Cabinet is by far my favorite vintage, repainted piece that I have found yet.

 My Little Love

I had this big post planned for this Tea Party but I decided to keep it simple. It was a perfect day and a perfect way for my Little Love to celebrate her special day. I wanted to share that on this blog but only in a small way as this is one of the very rare times that a picture of my children will be on here or that I share something outside of my healthy journey.

Happy Birthday Little Love! The celebrations are just beginning as we have another surprise for her this weekend :)

Catching up

Life has been a whirlwind. Between hanging out at the pool, enjoying Summer, working and keeping up with challenges, blogging has just not been on my to do list.

Since buying our house we've been working on redecorating, making some changes and adding new touches here and there. Tip of the day: never try to pick out fabric with your husband for new furniture! I wanted some custom made pieces for our living room and what that consisted of is hours upon hours of bickering with my husband digging through fabric to find something we can both agree on. It was the MOST frustrating thing. But finally, FINALLY, we came together and picked something out. It all came together quite nicely and I am so happy. We both are :)

We've also been busy celebrating our Daughter's Birthday. I can't believe how big she is and it's crazy how time flies. We threw her a vintage tea party for her and her closest friends and it turned out great. After we were done preparing and decorating I just wanted to lay there during the party and tell everyone to just have fun. It was beyond crazy but for her, totally worth it. I plan on sharing a separate post regarding this party because I just love it so much and so did she.

So, what's new for this month? Well I finally bit the bullet and bought the Les Mills Combat. I love, love, love Les Mills Body Pump but I have been kind of wanting to up my workouts a bit and after much debate decided to just do it. Thankfully, at the same time my Coach decided to do a Combat/T-25 challenge. This just made it so much more inciting to do because Challenges are great for motivation! We kicked that challenge off on July 8th and it's been...interesting! Combat is foot work mixed with... well, Combat. ;) I have learned through this that I am the most uncoordinated human being on the plant. My stances never feel right and I can never remember exactly how to put my hands. But practice makes perfect and you just have to keep pushing through!

I feel myself still going back to Body Pump and sometimes I will go back and forth or do both in one day. I am about 18 pounds from meeting my first goal so this is just pushing me more this month because I really want to get there!

I also decided to better my chances of getting those last pesky 18 pounds off (for the 1st goal). So, today I started the Shakeology Cleanse. Luckily a friend of mine wanted to do it as well so when I have been starving today and wanting to break, I have called her to keep myself in check. It's always better to have a buddy to keep you going. Hopefully this 3 day cleanse will get me over that hump of seeing the scale not move as much and well on my way to meeting my first goal!

Lastly, I am thinking of Coaching my very first challenge. A few people have come to me interested in what I am doing. I'd love to be the one to motivate someone and help them change their lives for the better but my own self doubt is holding me back. I would love to Coach but I feel like since I am not where I want to be, it's just not what I should do. On the other hand, Coaching will keep me accountable and push me through to show others how much this lifestyle can help you. I am proud of myself for how far I have come because usually I would never stick with something for this long, let alone change my whole life around a program to better myself and my family in the healthiest of ways. I am still thinking on this and my Coach is so encouraging so I just might have to give it a try. We shall see!

Month Two

I have been behind due to the Holiday and being busy. At the end of June I did my monthly weigh-in and lost 14 pounds bringing my total of pounds lost to 34. I am very happy with this although I know it could have been better.

Month two was a lot of downs with a few ups. Thanks to the encouragement of my Coach I pushed through and stuck with it. I of course never wanted to give up and still won't but the cravings and lack of wanting to exercise got the best of me. However, next week starts my new Combat challenge so I am hoping July will show great progress and I've already been great at staying on track with eating clean.

Looking forward to great results at my next weigh-in!

Worth Reading

I think every parent should read this. Every Mother should read it to teach her daughter to love herself no matter the shape or size of her body and every Father should read it to better understand that your words matter. Your children are watching.

"No one is more cruel to us than we are to ourselves. Let us honor and respect our bodies for what they do instead of despising them for how they appear. Focus on living healthy and active lives, let our weight fall where it may, and consign our body hatred in the past where it belongs."

New Beginnings

I know I should be posting my month 2 weigh in and stats but I have yet to do that. Crazy is how I can explain my life these days. Thankfully though, even through the craziness I am staying on track. I've even started a new challenge and that is the Les Mills Combat. I'm not sure what I was thinking but I'm excited and ready to get away from the weights for a bit and try something new. I'll let you know how it goes or if it totally kicks my butt after today. It should be interesting to say the least!

We closed on our house yesterday which was a huge weight lifted off of me and stress that just went POOF the moment we finished signing our signature 1000 times. I'm so glad that is behind us. I feel like I have been bogged down by that. Mortgage companies seem to want your first born and a piece of your DNA these days. Thankfully, we don't have a move ahead of us as we have been living in the house for some time now and finally pulled the trigger on buying it. It's now officially ours and "Home."

I'm also in the midst of planning my daughter's Birthday party. Every year I swear I am not going to do it, I will not have a big party. I will just do something small and simple. Maybe go away on vacation, celebrate at the beach, do something just the four of us. Nope, I end up going crazy. I blame Pinterest. It is EVIL! I am now knee deep on tissue pom poms, burlap and lace, trying to throw the worlds most fabulous Tea Party. We shall see how this goes!

I am eager to share more recipes but I've been in a lull lately just doing the recipes that I know work and are good. Score for me though, I got the kids to eat clean lasagna rolls, I just had to omit the spinach from their portion. Out of sight, out of mind ;)

I'm ready to revamp my workout and hopefully I won't be too sore tomorrow. I can't wait to see what the new challenge holds. My Coach will be kicking it off in early July and I'm ready!! I of course always jump start and will start Combat today and throw in Body Pump still until the challenge officially kicks off. Wish me luck!

Breakfast

These are my top go to breakfast choices:

Egg whites, turkey sausage or turkey bacon and grapes. I am not an oat person so a lot of things are out for me in that category. Some mornings I will do whole wheat toast with light butter and if I am in a hurry and need something on the go I grab my always handy Larabar. The Larabar has become an acquired taste. When I first tried them I thought it would take me forever to get one down but now they are easy and so good to just grab and go.

While my breakfast usually stays in the category of the egg whites, sausage or bacon and a fruit, I have also learned to play around with those and make it different so it's not the same thing every single day. Adding salsa, a whole wheat wrap or some fresh herbs will give it a nice change. I have learned that the old saying is true, breakfast is the most important meal of the day! If you start out on the right foot, chances are you will end there as well. This has been important on getting me back on track!

I used to be the type of person who never ate breakfast. I would eat lunch and that would be my first meal of the day. I was filling up my body with so many wasted calories throughout the day that I would honestly not feel hungry again until lunch time rolled around. Now I wake up with a different kind of hunger. I'm not starving by any means but I know that I need to feed my body what it needs to get going. I am not a coffee person so my first drink of the day is a full bottle of water. As soon as my feet hit the floor I get in 16 oz. of water to start off my day. By that time I am cooking breakfast and my body is ready to go!

I've noticed an increase in my page views yesterday and today after my Coach shared my blog on her page so if you are out there and you want to share, tell me your favorite breakfast meals. I'm always looking for great new clean ideas.

Learning to fail and pick myself back up again

So even after my last post I continued to fail. I didn't start again with day 1 although I tried, I failed. I again decided to reach out and once again my Coach came to the rescue. She told me to go back to the basics, let her know my food and exercise diary every single day like I did in our challenge group when I first started. This would hold me accountable. So of course I tried, I really tried my best but I failed again. So again I texted my Coach and started back at square one.

I can tell you a million excuses as to why I failed and failed again. It's summer, my kids are home, I'm busy juggling work and my children, summer activities, planning special days and so on, blah blah blah. However, the only thing I should be telling myself and you is... DO IT! No matter what is going on, get up, do the work, put in the effort, be a better you! So yesterday I hit the ground running reading and looking through everything that inspires me. No matter what obstacles I have in the week ahead, find time to better yourself, to feel better and make better choices. Yes, it can be done and should be done because I want this. I want this for me, I want this for my family.

As I said in my introduction post, getting family on board is a tricky thing. My daughter loves the clean eating and we fight daily over the shakeology. However, my son, who is possibly the pickiest eater on the planet, hates anything and everything I cook. If it's clean, he won't eat it. Sure I can sneak him things here and there but most of all he is not having it. So usually I find myself making him a separate meal that is still relatively healthy. Also, I have been teaching him to cook with me because if he isn't going to eat what I cook he will be cooking it or helping me. I've learned along the way to chop and freeze. Make as many small healthy meals as I can for him that can be quickly put together. It's working for now but I am hoping soon he will jump in and grow to love the food as much as I do.

Then there is my husband. I have been discouraged for a while because he has never fully been on board. Of course at first he did the workouts, did the shakeology and ate a little better. It didn't take long before he was full swing out of the clean mode and giving me a hard time for it in the nicest way possible. Of course if I cooked it, he would eat it so I knew he was getting clean dinners. However, there were days he brought home horrible food, wanted dinner out and I fell into the temptation. And you know what is the worst part about it? He is still losing weight, faster than me! That grates my nerves more than anything else! After a long heart to heart I explained to him that for me to lose the weight I have to stick with this and I have to keep to my routine, my workouts and my meals. While I know that I will probably never fully get him on board, I am hoping that he will understand enough to give me encouragement to make better choices.

Now if that sounds like I am putting my husband down, please don't get me wrong. He has been a great support for me and loves the changes in me that he sees. He gives me praise on my good days. I know that unless he is ready he won't be fully into the clean eating and working out daily. You have to want it for yourself. I'm hoping he will get there but if he doesn't then I'll keep waiting and I'll be there when he does. I never expected him to jump on board and be ready when I was, everyone does things at a different pace.

So, where am I now? I'm back on the wagon. Day 2 of being fully committed again and not letting this get me down. I have to learn to be on the journey no matter what challenges lay ahead. This truly is a change of life and I have to change my whole life to support it. I can't just do this when it's convenient for me. And hearing "I'm proud of you" from my Coach when I make the right decisions is icing on top of my whole wheat, granola cake! :)

The Beach

The Beach was magical. We had the most breathtaking of views as you can see. Six blissful days that we spent under the sun that washed all of our worries, cares and stresses away. Nothing else mattered on that beach but us. It was just what we needed. My heart was so full. My heart fills thinking back to every moment spent in our bubble in Paradise. Perfection.

As I packed for this trip I thought, "You've got this!" I packed all my food thinking I could stay on track with my clean eating. I packed my weights, DVD's, my mat... had it all ready. Drove my poor husband crazy with each detail of the things I would need. This vacation would not slow me down nor stop me in my tracks. I was a woman on a mission.

But let's get real... Fresh seafood, monster burgers by the beach, those fruity drinks with an umbrella... oh those fruity drinks. It got me. I surrendered and threw in the towel. And that's how I felt. I felt as though I had fallen off the wagon. A felt as though I had hit the ground hard and blew everything I had worked so hard for. But did I? We vacationed with some friends of ours and it took her telling me that I was doing good for me to see it. My meals stayed clean during the day. One day I did eat a hot dog for lunch but other than that I was doing pretty well. Dinners... well of course on vacation dinners are going to be out. You have to go check out the local fare and who feels like cooking? So yes, Dinner was my downfall. However, I managed to keep it semi healthy and in moderation where before I would eat until I felt sick. It was too good not to indulge but now I know the difference in feeding your body what it needs vs. feeding your self what you want. The drinks, well they will get you every time and on a movie night I indulged in Reese cups... for shame!

My first panic at the beach came when I realized I didn't have a scale. Weighing myself has become sort of an obsession, a problem really! My Coach tells me to lock it up but I can't help it. Every morning and every night I am stepping on that thing to count the pounds. Honestly, it was freeing to not have it but as soon as I spotted one in the gym at our Condo, my mind raced to what it could be. Had I gained while enjoying myself? Am I going to regret this whole trip because it has set me back? While we all ushered the kids upstairs from the pool to dry off and rest before a night out exploring, my mind raced and I wanted nothing more than to get on that scale. Finally, when the kids were settled and I knew I could, I snuck away and found myself standing atop that scale waiting for the dial to settle and find my weight. And there is was, five extra pounds that I didn't pack for vacation. They were staring at me. I failed. I let go of the control I have tried so hard to maintain and there was my result.

After seeing a five pound gain most people would think, buckle down. Start doing right, do the Body Pump and pick up those weights that you have made your husband bring and carry. But no, my thoughts went to a place of "well, I've done this much damage, let's finish it off with a bang!" and that was that. I decided to free myself and just enjoy my time, not let that number on the scale define my vacation. Just let go and worry about it when I get home. Come to find out, my weight was not what I needed to consider.

On our last day at the beach I received a text from my Coach. She was asking me how I was doing, was I staying on track? I admitted to her that I had fallen of the wagon, gained five pounds and all exercise had gone out the window. She explained to me that the 5 pounds was likely water weight from sodium in the things I was eating which made me feel better. She also explained that as we were driving home from the beach I needed to make a plan. Get my stuff in order to be prepared to hit it hard when I get home. Know my menus, get back into the routine. She also told me to be prepared for the cravings that will come after eating so poorly. My body will need to detox again... and boy was she right. But what hit me the most was her words at the end "Are you committed?" I am! I am! Not only had I let myself down but I felt like I had let her down too. I had let my family down because getting healthy is not only for me, it's not about the weight I want to lose or the way I want to feel it's for them to see a healthier lifestyle for my kids to have a Mom that is healthy.

Going home, I did nothing. I didn't plan my menus. I ate clean on the ride. Pulled into town and grabbed a pizza because it was easy. FAIL! I got home, planned my meals, went to the store but then they hit... the cravings hit me like a truck. I wanted the bad food. I wanted the sweet, the salty, the fat. And guess what? My cravings won. Just like at the beach, I ate clean during the day but by dinner I blew it. Last night in a moment of desperation I reached out to my Coach. I felt sick, literally lay on the floor and dry heave, cry and be mad as hell, sick. My moods were off, my skin is no longer clear (as it has seemed to be glowing since I started this challenge which I give credit to the processed junk being out of my diet), I wanted to cry and most of all I wanted to vomit. I could feel the bad food changing me, changing my body and I was desperate. I need to get back on track. I need to be accountable for the things that I am doing to harm this journey that I am on. I need to reach out and say that I failed, I'm failing and I need help picking it back up. As always, she was there and picked me back up and put me back on track but it's up to me to do the work. To stop looking at the easy way out and work towards my goal. It's hard, it's time consuming, it will hurt you but the benefits far out weigh any of that. Do I want to flush everything I have accomplished down the drain? No!

So in the end... was the trip worth it? YES.... a million times yes. Again, the trip was perfection. And it taught me a great deal on why I am on this journey to a better lifestyle change. It taught me why I don't feed my body like I did before. I will look back on this trip as a reminder of how to further handle times away from home. This trip will show me why I am working so hard and why I will feed my body in the best ways possible. I have heard many times before, food is like a drug and an addiction and I believe with my whole heart, that is true. The bad food that you put into your body will grab hold and you will become addicted to it. The good food will do the same but it will make you feel so much better. The bad food brings you down, makes you feel your worst and changes your body on the inside and out in ways that I never thought possible and when you've had enough your body has to detox to get through it. Good food does not do that to you and this I have experienced and learned first hand.

Oh and for that 5 pounds of beach weight, well of course I weighed myself as soon as I got home and I'm going with the thought that the scale at the Condo was off. Not only did I not gain the 5 pounds but I've lost a little more bringing me to a total weight loss of 30 pounds since I started this journey. That is not my official weigh-in for this month but I was happy to see the numbers when I got home. And after my set-back of bad food and good times I think of today as Day 1 of starting over.

This week...

We are soaking up the sun and the sand at the Beach. I am finding it incredibly hard to eat clean while here and a detox may be in order when I get home. More to come after we enjoy this fabulous vacation!

Eating Clean

I came across this on Pinterest the other day and it pretty much sums up my diet...

I know that going clean/organic/healthy can be completely intimidating and overwhelming. Not to mention it can take a huge hit on your monthly grocery budget. But it is totally doable!

I didn't want to shock my husband all at one time with a $500 grocery bill so the Sunday before I started the challenge I sat down and looked over some great clean eating websites and planned out my menu. I planned breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner. The first week I went about as basic as possible because I wasn't sure how well I was going to like any of the food. I looked at all of the ingredients I would need for dinners for one week and mainly focused on that. So when I went to the store I only bought what I needed for the week ahead, nothing more. I did not go into my kitchen and throw everything out that was unhealthy or "dirty." To me that would have been impossible to do. I noticed that each week I went to the store, my kitchen was slowly transitioning to clean/healthy foods. I remember opening my fridge one day and talking to my husband saying "It looks like healthy people live here." Then as my shopping continued I start noticing that I hardly ever went down a center aisle in the grocery store. I was shopping from the outer ring only. Little did I know that this is the key to keeping foods healthy, clean and fresh.

So far I have found two great websites for great clean recipes:

The Gracious Pantry and Dashing Dish

Personally, Dashing Dish is my favorite. I have been able to find great recipes on here that are mouthwatering, delicious and picky family approved! There is a membership required for Dashing Dish but it's worth it. Some of the recipes are available without a membership but a lot of the really great ones do require a membership. And to be honest, I just haven't invested enough time on The Gracious Pantry to see what all is available there. I have found some things here and there and it is a great website.

Another fear of mine that I had was cooking 24/7. I don't like to cook... AT ALL! However, I learned that recipes I have found on both of the above websites are quick and easy. Also, you can get your ingredients ready for the week ahead by chopping, bagging and freezing. This takes away a lot of the prep-work involved with cooking any meal. When cooking a clean lasagna or spaghetti, you don't have to make your own sauce. You could but between my family, working full time and trying to enjoy the summer, I don't have time. There are sauces out there that you can buy but you have to look. Look at the ingredients, do your research into bad ingredients and good ingredients and most of all remember that if you can't pronounce it.... DON'T EAT IT!

As I said in my previous post, I will be sharing some great recipes that are approved by my family and trust me, I have a picky bunch. This has been our favorite so far. We love pasta, anything with pasta is great in our opinion so I just had to try this. It is now a staple in our monthly rotation...

Lasagna Roll Ups

And of course always remember that H2O is the way to go! This is all that I have had to drink in over a month. I was addicted to Sprite...GONE! Fruit juice, which I love, GONE! A nightly glass of chocolate milk...GONE! Nothing but water and my Shakeology. Hard? Yes. Worth it? YES YES YES!

I am no pro. I don't know all there is to know about clean eating. I am still a newbie, researching and trying to find my own way through all of this but I hope that a little advice and tips can help anyone wanting to start this journey into a new, healthy you!

One Month

As of last week, I am one month down and a lifetime to go. So yesterday I did my one month weigh in and measurements. Not fun but it's something that you must do to see progress. I can look at myself in a mirror all day long and not see a bit of change. So in the time frame of April 23, 2013-May 27, 2013 I am down 20 pounds and 8.25 inches! Whoop whoop! That is cause for celebration. But hold up! I also had to do pictures. Which means putting on dreadful clothes that show my body and take the same photo I took a month prior. I must just grin and bear it. Photos done and I'm horrified at what I see. I see no change... nothing! I compare the two side by side in my lovely PS program and type the dates to see the comparison. My husband gushes about the difference. I don't see it. I e-mail it my couch promising that I have lost the weight, you just can't see to see it. Her reply hits me hard. She can see it. Not only that but she can point to where she can see it and guess what?!?!? I see it too! I immediately send the picture to a friend of mine and tell her where to look to see it. Her response floors me as she tells me that she didn't need to look where to see it, she could tell right away. I analyze, look and of course criticize. I can see it, it's there. I can see the changes in my body for the first time, on the outside. Not only am I feeling great on the inside but I can see the changes that this is making to me. I'm encouraged, I'm excited, and I'm ready to do it all again!

I have learned through this process that I am full of self doubt. I don't believe that I can do it because I have tried and failed several times. But as I look back and wonder why it is that I have failed it's because I wasn't doing it for the right reasons. I wanted to just simply lose the weight. Not work for it, not change my lifestyle and not commit myself to anything that would require taking away everything that I have always known and starting over. I had to have that light bulb moment where I wanted to change myself and change everything I had ever known. I had to reach that point of no return and see what I was doing to myself in order to want to change it. And reach that point I did. Just as with everything else, you have to want it bad enough to succeed at it. You have to work at it to achieve it and this is what I want.

Eating clean is getting easier and easier by the day. It's now just kind of programmed into my mind to look at those labels and see what I am fueling my body with. I have people who ask me how I feel and honestly, I feel great. Clean eating has really helped me focus more on life than what my next meal will be. I have it all planned out for the week ahead and the food is actually stuff I enjoy. My body doesn't feel tired all of the time, I'm not as sluggish as I once was and I have the energy to get through the day without feeling like I have to take a nap.

As I said, one month down - a lifetime to go! This will not stop here. I am so happy that I can see the change and most importantly so happy that I can feel the change. This week my goal is to really start sharing great clean recipes that I have found, share some goals that I have committed myself to and share more about the struggles I have faced along the way.

Introduction

I have done this blog thing a time or two before. I think I generally failed each time because those blogs did not truly reflect me. Anyway, this is it. This is the me that I want everyone to see and the me that I am still working on every single day. This blog will be very simple, I vow not to get fancy with it as I have no desire to go that far into the blogging world.

I'm a wife, we've been semi-happily married for 10 years. I say semi because those first few years were like learning to ride a bike. Torture and a lot of falls and fails. We got married young, had kids right away and never really had a marriage. We threw ourselves into life without a net and most of the time we crashed and burned. But some how we managed to learn and grow together and have grown into quite possibly the most stable and functional relationship that I know. I love my husband dearly, he truly is my best friend and I feel like after all we have been through we will be that old couple sitting on the front porch watching our grandchildren play while drinking sweet tea out of mason jars.

Together my husband and I have had three amazing children. Today we only have two as one gained his wings and left this Earth almost 7 years ago. We struggled greatly through our son's passing and it was a hard time for all of us. However, we are very thankful for the time we did have with him and that God blessed us to be his parents for the short time that he had here on Earth. We will see him again one day, this we know for sure. We've been blessed and that we know. We have a handsome son and beautiful daughter that fill us with love, laughter, craziness and joy. Just like marriage, parenting has it's ups and downs but you make it through the best you can and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

I'm a full time Mom and I also work full-time. I got back into the working world when my daughter started school. I realized sitting at home was boring and there are only so many times you can clean your house. I've recently been promoted so work has been crazy and most days I find it hard to keep my head above water but no matter what my family comes first and I'm thankful to work for a company that believes in that statement as well.

Some of this blog may be about family, about work or day to day things but mostly I am starting this blog as an outlet for a new adventure I have started. About a month ago I decided to make a huge change and began looking into ways to get healthy. My husband and I could be your typical American. Eat what you want, exercise little and gain weight quickly. I was never unhappy with myself because I am fabulous regardless ;) but the more and more I began looking into what I was feeding myself and what I was feeding my gamily, the more I was questioned what in the world was I doing?!?!? After much research and talking with others I decided to do the Beachbody Challenge. It has been quite the adventure but I love how I feel and I love how my body is changing and shaping in to ways I never imagined. I am doing things I never quite thought possible and it's only been a month!

So, what am I doing differently? Well first of all, exercise is a part of my daily routine. I work out daily, I try for more than once a day. I didn't join a gym because I know I will make 1000 excuses not to go. Luckily with beachbody, you pick your program. I chose the Les Mills Body Pump and I love it. Although, some days I could seriously reach though the screen and punch them in the throat - especially after doing squats! The biggest change has been our diet. We are now a clean eating family. I never thought of food as fuel for your body. It was always something I wanted or craved. Now I look at food in a whole new light. I give my body exactly what it needs  to fuel it's self through out the day. Yes, cooking every single meal has been hard. Yes, buying everything fresh and organic has been a hit to the wallet but the benefits far outweigh both of those. Do I cheat? YES! And that's ok. I have one night a week designated to cheat. However, I now find my self making the healthier choices no matter where I am and that's a HUGE change. Am I perfect? No. Will I fail? Probably and I will have to pick myself back up. Do I want this? ABSOLUTELY! Is all of my family on board? NO! And you will read many times here in the future that it's a big struggle to decide to live your life one way and expect everyone to jump on board. I have faith that it will happen eventually!

I have many goals set for myself. Some personal, some not so. I will be sharing them here as well as yummy recipes and my success and failures. This blog is really to keep me accountable. This blog is for ME. I don't care how many readers I have. If I have a few that join me on this journey, GREAT! I hope I can inspire someone along the way.